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13 years ago i came out of the womb
here i am today with puberty asserting total dominance over my appearance
seriously, i have a moustache now and it’s worrying me
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Here’s a story I like to tell sometimes
So, my freshman year of high school was pretty fun because like. the entire staff just didn’t give a fuck about anything, and were SUPER chill. I was friends with a girl named Elizabeth, and she was kind of really gullible, and believed almost anything people told her.
In my Algebra class one day, I saw my teacher writing super fast with his pen, he took a quick break from writing and shook his wrist around because it was cramping from writing so much. I jokingly said “Oh, , your pen getting too hot?” and he replied with something like “yeah, I didn’t want to risk setting the page on fire.”
Elizabeth overheard this, and INSTANTLY wanted to know what was up. She asked something like “wait what? if you write too fast it can set the page on fire?” and my teacher said “yeah, its from the friction. Don’t try it though, I don’t want any fires in here.”
So Elizabeth started scribbling as fast as she possibly could with her pen on some scrap paper. She did that for about 5 minutes before my teacher and I just couldn’t hold it anymore and started laughing our asses off, and told her that we were joking. She didn’t believe us at first, and kept doing it for about a minute, until it sunk in that you really can’t start a fire by writing super fast LMAO
I still wonder, if we never told her we were joking, how long she would have scribbled before realizing it wouldn’t have started a fire.
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get ready for a lot of fapping then
12 years ago i dug myself out of my mom.
fuck puberty
MYTH: BUSTED
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Back in September, me and my friend tried to get a CRT Television out of the dumpster, we pretty much failed as it was too heavy and really stuck in there. I ended up getting poison ivy the next day : )
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rest in spaget
Anectypos
I destroyed all versions of windows and dos
so here’s a story
my grandma said we could look for the PC before my previous PC (e.g. two computer generations back) in the garage tomorrow (which for people in the future is November 30th, 2019), and that it was too late to look today (it was like 8 PM, and way beyond dark). so like the rebellious teenage asshole I am, after she goes to bed I ignore her advice, get dressed (since it’s like 40 degrees fahrenheit out), put on a jacket, take a flashlight (or torch depending on where you live), and go outside.
so now I’m outside, and I was not prepared for the cold since I was wearing a tank top and the first jacket I found. thankfully, from the back door to the garage is a pretty short walk, so I turn on the flashlight and take the 20/30 foot walk (about 6-9 meters) to the garage. unfortunately, due to motherly shenanigans I do NOT want to go into, the door to the garage has been blocked with plastic chairs, and I couldn’t be bothered to move them out of the way. (lazy teenager blues, y’know?)
then I hear dead leaves crunch. someone was around.
unfortunately, there isn’t much of an ending, and I didn’t beat the shit out of a cultist with a flashlight no matter what the news might tell you. I just hauled ass back inside and started typing this
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One day i singed a club penguin song
… Ok?
(This anecdote is from Lithuania)
English:
-Do you know how much your science costs me?
-I know, that’s why I’ve been trying to learn less.
Lithuanian:
-Ar Ĺľinai kiek man kainuoja tavo mokslai?
-Žinau, todėl ir stengiousi mažiau mokytis.
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